July 5th-11th Doggy Horoscopes

This is going to be a great week for you and your pup, full of luck and good fortune! Take them to the bodega to buy a lottery ticket and they will distract the clerk so you can take as many tickets as you can before the clerk catches you, and you will have more chances to win!

Aries:

Your Aries pup will start barking in the same corner of your living room every night at 8:47PM. It’s for sure a ghost but don’t worry, it’s not one of the bad ones. I think…

Taurus:

Hey, you said you wanted more dogs, right? Well, Taurus dogs are very sensual and when you see your Taurus pup make bedroom eyes at the poodle across the street, leave them alone and perhaps you might get your wish.

Gemini:

Gemini dogs love to find ways to express themselves. Set an easel in the living room and watch as they make you a masterpiece (or eat the paint which, now that I think about it, isn’t good so, maybe give them another way to express their creativity).

Cancer:

Cancer is the sign of the crab. Just for fun, give your Cancer doggo some crab as a snack! Could be fun (just not too much crab because crab has high levels of sodium, but they can get a little, as a treat).

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